Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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