I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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