Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
