Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
