i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
