are you still at the devil's house?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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