your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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