I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
