Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
