I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
