I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
