it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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