Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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