So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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