i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
