I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
