I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
