Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
