I am in a vortex of obligation.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
