I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
