I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm too high and old for this...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
