Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
