Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
