You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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