we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
