I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
