I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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