Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
