About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
