i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
