We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
why do cheetos always look like penises
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
