so explain again why im purple
no
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
