Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
