don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
