a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
