Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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