unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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