woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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