found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
