i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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