why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
