your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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