Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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