Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
