Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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