If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
