Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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