Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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