I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
