Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
