Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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