Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
